Photo by Sara

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” ~ American Theologian William Shedd

While the majority of my coaching clients are leaders nominated by their respective organizations, I also work with individuals who directly reach out to me. Of late, I have noticed that one of the common themes that many of these individual clients, particularly in their 40s and 50s, choose to work on is ‘What next?’

They have usually been in a certain career for over twenty years, and generally successful at it. However, while they are not unhappy with where they are, they are no longer excited by their current work and definitely can’t see themselves being in that field for the coming decades of their productive work life.

While I had earlier written a post on the distinction between a job, career and calling (Are you following your calling?) and another one on how to go about discovering such a calling, in this post I would like to share some lessons that I have learnt in my personal journey of leaving a successful corporate career and pursuing an alternate one.

1. Changing who you are, and not merely what you do

When disturbed or unhappy, we start to believe that the mere change of some of our circumstances would permanently change our emotional state. We are then tempted to actively consider changing jobs, leaving relationships, or moving cities. While some of that might be relevant in specific situations, these changes tend not to have a lasting impact on our state of happiness or fulfillment.

If our ambitious nature had led to a poor work-life balance, irrespective of the professional platform we choose to operate from, we find ourselves overworked. If we tend to be too aggressive or too sensitive in our relationships, changing partners does little to reform that. If we are inclined to be anxious or insecure about the future, changing jobs or cities does not automatically alter that trait.

To experience meaningful shifts, we need to commit to deeper changes. In addition to changing some of our circumstances, we need to work on who we are. On climbing the Mount Everest, Edmund Hilary said, “It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” In the same spirit, we need to create time for reflection, deepen our self-awareness (who we are, what we want our life to be about) and work with overcoming our fear, insecurity, anxiety, and greed and instead building courage, trust, authenticity, acceptance and so forth.

2. Committing to a direction instead of measuring the distance

In our achievement-oriented society, more is often synonymous with better – the underlying belief that the person with more is likely to be happier; that more success, more money equates to greater happiness. We customarily correlate the notion of fulfilling our personal potential to how much further we can get in our profession, financial status, or public recognition – and that leads us to a treadmill of activity but not necessarily to inner fulfillment.

Rather than struggling to relentlessly climb the ladder (career, financial, or social), it is more important to determine whether our ladder is leaning against the right wall in the first place. It is important to recognize that we can start the journey towards discovering and satisfying our potential only by working on our inner self and by setting the direction of our life in line with our personal purpose.

As we work on our inner selves, we need to question the very purpose of our existence. What do you want the rest of your life to be about; what is that one thing that you would be willing to dedicate your life to; how would your new path help serve that purpose. Clarifying, articulating, and then committing to pursuing such a purpose is the source of experiencing profound changes in our state of happiness and fulfillment.

3. Getting the family fully on board 

Although seemingly obvious, many a time, individuals tend to underestimate this aspect of the change. Particularly if you are personally passionate about your cause or the alternate path, and hence are willing to forego say material comforts for it, it is possible to start believing that your spouse and family would be okay with that too.

It is important that your spouse and the family are on board with your decision and fully understand the future implications of your actions. One practical advice that my clients have found helpful in this regard is that giving up future material upgrades is easier than downgrading from the life you have been leading.

In this context, whether it is your children’s education, type of house, car, or other creature comforts, you need to be forthright with your family on the immediate–and the likely future–implications of your decision. While you maybe embarking on a meaningful pursuit, you would not want to live with the regret of it being a selfish decision in some way.

4. Learning to think small

To start your new life, if you are exiting a large corporation, this maybe of particular interest to you.

Coming from a large corporation, individuals are generally used to thinking of considerable scale; whereas for many individual entrepreneurs and solo flyers, be it consultants, coaches, NGO founders, authors, musicians, or artists, life invariably starts small. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. While you may have big ambitions about your cause, it is important that you begin with thinking small and perfecting the details of your start-up model.

Further, at established corporations, individuals are commonly used to the comforts of the existing infrastructure – of other team members and admin staff who can support in multiple ways. In most alternate careers, you may have to do your own travel bookings, confirm your meeting schedules, and personally follow-up with clients – things that you may ordinarily take for granted in large set-ups.

5. Connecting with the signs of synchronicity

When pursuing a purpose, particularly one that serves a relevant social need, the universe conspires to help you. Once you commit to a mission, you will be amazed at the unexpected positive coincidences in your path and the number of supportive and like-minded people you will meet along the way.

Sometimes, influenced by our self-serving peer groups in a mainstream career, we can get caught up in our limited vision of the world. These new linkages can open your eyes to a new world-view and fresh ways of looking at yourself.

In this regard, I also found not having a well laid-out business plan very liberating. Contrary to my old self, one who would have planned everything in detail, I chose to just go with the flow. Rather than follow the usual external yardsticks to measure progress, I relied on my inner assessment – anchored in whether I was continually committed to, and was moving forward on, my personal purpose.

6. Learning to saying No

In the last eight years of my new life, I have said ‘No’ to more opportunities than said ‘Yes’ to. Stepping out of a mainstream career, you would be surprised with the numerous diverse opportunities that come your way. Given that there’s a reasonable chance things are initially slow for you, it’s easy to get tempted to dabble into all the multiple possibilities.

However, my personal experience has been that many of these are distractions from your core pursuit and tend to dilute your focus. I have turned down business opportunities, board positions and resigned from advisory roles – based primarily on whether these were supporting my central objective and the chosen life path or not. While it has been a test of patience on many occasions, in hindsight, that’s what has allowed me to say yes to things that really matter to me.