Category: Personal mastery

To Create a New Reality, Start with Your Beliefs…


“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” – Marcus Aurelius

One of the principles of the journey of personal mastery that I have been writing about is self-responsibility: taking charge of ourselves and putting into practice all the meaningful ideas that emerge from our efforts at raising self-awareness. It is about making conscious choices that help us breakaway from our conditioned responses and instead create a new reality for us.

Self-responsibility is grounded in the tenet that the real change lies within us and that the only way to change our world is to change ourselves. It demands that we are open-minded about the capacity in each of us to discover- and implement- our unique solutions to our personal dilemmas.

It relies on the conviction that all of us do have a choice in every situation – the notion that it’s not what happens to us, but how we react to it that makes the real difference; the understanding that our inner thoughts have the power to create the reality we want to experience; and that we are indeed the co-creators of the world we inhabit.

Changing habits
Since humans are creatures of habit, real change is possible only by changing our deep-rooted habits.

Instead of trying to undo well-ingrained old habits, it is more effective to introduce new positive ones. Working with new habits makes the process of change far more positive and solution-oriented and is hence more empowering. For example, instead of working on how not to get angry frequently, it’s more effective to focus on being calmer more often.

These habit changes often operate at different layers of our personality. Starting from our behavior patterns, they encompass working with our thought processes, emotional responses and our fundamental beliefs. Practicing to stay calm in the face of a disturbing stimulus, becoming accustomed to actively appreciating one’s colleagues or sticking to a diet plan are all examples of desired behavioral changes.

Even so, at a deeper level, they…

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Personal mastery, Self-growth | 4 Comments

So, what are you addicted to?


“People often expect different results from doing the same   actions” – Alcoholics Anonymous

When we think about addiction, the first image that crosses our mind is that of someone addicted to alcohol, tobacco, gambling or drugs. However, addiction includes any form of fixation, obsession or habitual indulgence in an activity. So much so that when addicted, we cannot resist this indulgence despite being aware of its injurious impact. While in some cases this dependence on a substance or an activity is apparently physical, in most situations it’s essentially a psychological one.

Addiction starts with our initially flirting with the substance or the activity, mainly to enhance our mood at that moment or seek some momentary pleasure. However, with frequent flirtation, this indulgence becomes a habit – one that we find difficult to live without. All the same, overtime, once we get addicted, engaging in this fixation merely serves to make us feel normal.

Many more of us are addicted than we know.
Addiction then includes any uncontrolled obsession that we have – for example, for food, sweets, watching television, work, shopping, buying latest gadgets, facebook, or loveless sex. It refers to any deeper emotional dependency that we develop to feel good. While some of these may be less harmful than the others, they all have  a significant negative impact on us. Defined this way, I feel we all are perhaps guilty of multiple addictions. Furthermore, while many of us escape the more visible addictions, we do get caught up with our own set of inner demons. Our recurring stream of thoughts and feelings about stuff- routinely getting anxious about situations, our persistent desire to control outcomes and the volatility of our temperament that we find challenging to moderate- are all examples of a compulsive behavior.

To my mind, all these are addictive patterns we live with, but are ignorant of, for the most part. These instinctive responses get so ingrained in our state of being that we…

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Personal mastery, Self-growth | 1 Comment

Climate Change, Ways Forward and the Journey of Personal Change


Mark Twain might as well have been talking about climate change when he famously remarked, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody ever does anything about it.”

Climate change is for real and its alarming impact has been evident all around us. The proportion of hurricanes reaching categories 4 or 5 worldwide has risen from 20% in the 1970s to 35% in the 1990s; the increased frequency of extreme local weather like the 2003 heat wave across Europe that killed over 30,000 people; the receding glaciers (according to the UN, Himalayan glaciers could disappear by 2035 possibly impacting over two billion people); the increasing deterioration of ecosystem and the ensuing diseases with newer mutants of viruses; and the disappearing bee colonies, impacting agricultural produce in many developed countries, are all examples of this change. It is even leading to social strife in parts of the world – the reduction in rainfall in Darfur has turned millions of hectares of already marginal land into desert, leading to one of the largest social conflicts. As we look into the future, the dangers of increased hurricane activity in Central America and Southern US, the risks of places like Maldives, Bangladesh and Cairo being exposed to higher sea levels, the challenges of large scale social migration, and spread of new and unknown diseases worldwide are ominous.

While there’s a significant debate (although often more political than scientific) about whether humans are causing this climate change or if it is merely the result of a broader planetary cycle of change, the scientific community unequivocally suggests that humans are contributing to it. As we know, one of the biggest causes of climate change is the rising level of carbon emissions, brought about by burning of fossil fuels, like oil and coal, by cars, planes, homes, factories, and power plants. On average in the US, a passenger car emits over 5 tons of CO2 every year and a home emits 4 tons of CO2 per person each year. The Ecological Footprint Network has estimated that humanity’s burden on…

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Meditation: An Introduction


Photo by h.koppdelaney

I have been writing about the relevance of the journey of self-awareness and personal mastery – a journey that requires us to better understand and work with our personal emotional, mental and spiritual make-up. Among the various psychological and spiritual growth tools that can support us in this journey, many people find meditation to be one of the most effective ones. In that context, I thought of writing this blog piece to briefly introduce some key facets of meditation, its benefits, and share some thoughts based on my learning and experiences in this space.

Meditation is defined as engaging in a mental exercise towards reaching a deeper state of relaxation or awareness. It originated from the Latin word meditatio, meaning contemplation. People engage in meditation for a whole host of varied psychological and spiritual reasons – higher mental peace and relaxation, reducing anxiety or stress, boosting self-esteem, strengthening the mind, sharpening focus, enhancing creativity, and achieving higher states of self-awareness. While it has some definite background in religious upbringing, meditation can easily be a non-religious and purely spiritual exercise. However, in all situations, it tends to lay emphasis on direct experience rather than on any dogmas or beliefs.

Benefits
Significant quantum of research is now available on the benefits of meditation. Starting with studies on the Transcendental Meditation (TM) technique in the late 1960s, various research findings have shown that meditation practice can noticeably improve all aspects of an individual’s life – health, relationships, work productivity, creativity and even academic performance of children. Independent studies at the National Institute of Health, and at Harvard, reported that regular meditation reduces chronic pain, anxiety, high blood pressure, cholesterol and cortisol (the stress hormone). Research has demonstrated that during meditation, the metabolic rate and oxygen intake drops significantly. Also, the meditators’ levels of anxiety and tension, as measured by their skin resistance to an electrical current, have been found to decline. Meditation is also proven to increase serotonin…

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Personal mastery, Self-growth, Spiritual | 2 Comments

Of Well-being and Healing…


A healthy sense of well-being is really important to all of us. Well-being is often one of the top wishes (possibly along with happiness and wealth) that people have for themselves and their loved ones. As people age, other than financial security, well-being and longevity are what they long for. Despite that yearning, how much attention do we pay to our overall sense of well-being on a regular basis? Even if we do, it’s often directed primarily towards our physical health – centered on the exercise routine and possibly some watchful eating. That is hardly sufficient attention, as our more complete sense of well-being emanates not just from improving our physical but also mental, emotional, and spiritual health. According to a Harvard Medical School publication, “Recurrence of cardiovascular events, including heart attacks and strokes, is more closely linked to depression than to high cholesterol, smoking, high blood pressure, or diabetes.” – reinforcing the importance of mental/ emotional health. Similarly, highlighting the need to nurture our soul, Roman philosopher Cicero said, “Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body.” Taking a cue from the above, in this post, I would like to highlight the relevance of a more integrated approach to well-being, one that encapsulates healing and growth on all these four levels.

What are these different levels of healing and well-being? Physical well-being relates to our ability to effectively conduct various physical activities, including recreational ones, without any pain. It entails being physically healthy and inculcating healthy habits – taking care of our body through physical exercise, eating habits, hygiene, and maintaining effective balance between work and rest. Mental well-being is related to our intellect – our ability to think, our thoughts, understanding, values and beliefs. It facilitates our ability to create suitable mental maps to effectively navigate the world. Emotional well-being talks to our emotional health. As Mother Teresa said, “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” It’s the ability to understand our emotions, connect…

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Personal mastery, Self-growth | 1 Comment

Change is Coming to Planet Earth…


“In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order” Carl Jung

There appears to be a tremendous increase in incidence of negative news in our lives over the recent past. Natural disasters, climate change, violence, financial crisis have run havoc in people’s lives – better monitoring and live media coverage notwithstanding. The 2004 Tsunami killing over 200,000 people, Cyclone Nargis leaving 100,000 dead, deadly Hurricane Katrina in 2005, and the 2008 Sichuan Earthquake in China that rendered over 4.5 million homeless. Similarly, the impact of climate change has been alarming – worldwide, the proportion of hurricanes reaching categories 4 or 5 has risen from 20% in the 1970s to 35% in the 1990s; the increased frequency of extreme local weather like the 2003 heat wave across Europe that killed over 30,000 people; the receding glaciers (according to the UN, Himalayan glaciers could disappear by 2035 possibly impacting over two billion people); the increasing deterioration of ecosystem and the ensuing diseases with newer mutants of viruses; and the disappearing bee colonies, impacting agricultural produce in many developed countries. Then there’s the destruction caused by social strife – the reduction in rainfall in Darfur has turned millions of hectares of already marginal land into desert, leading to one of the largest social conflicts. Simultaneously, we still have about half of world’s population living below incomes of US$2 per day (World Bank, 2001). Violence emanating from wars, terrorism, religious fanaticism, and social-strife has been enormous – over 10,000 people died or got injured from terrorist attacks during 2008; the number of casualties from Iraq war alone is estimated to have topped a million; over 200,000 people killed and over two million displaced in Darfur. Finally, there’s the recent economic crisis, worst since the great depression – adding despair to millions. The global chaos and despondency is all around us.

“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” Friedrich Nietzsche

Based on numerous spiritual scriptures, it appears the time for a new world order to be born…

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Global challenges, Personal mastery, Self-growth, Spiritual | Comments Off on Change is Coming to Planet Earth…

Personal Change and World Peace!


Three of the biggest long-term challenges facing our world today are wars/ terrorism, poverty, and climate change. Although at varying levels, and in some ways interrelated, each of these has already disrupted our lives and holds substantial potential to escalate and truly threaten the survival of the human race. In light of the recent events in Mumbai, here is an article I had written for the Sunday Times of India, focusing on one of the fundamental aspects related to creating long-term world peace.

Wars and violence have been an integral part of our civilizations. However, in recent times, spurred by terrorism, world peace is threatened at an unprecedented scale. A quick search shows over 10,000 people died or got injured from terrorist attacks during 2008 itself. Similarly, the number of casualties from Iraq war alone is estimated to have topped a million. As one wonders about the root cause of this extraordinary violence, some of the obvious reasons that come to mind include – religious differences, socio-economic inequality, technology and ease of communication, and globalization of arms trade and people mobility. However, underlying all these seems to be a more fundamental and longer-term issue – and that’s the deeper emotional issue of anger and hatred. It originates at an individual level and as it spreads and gains acceptance among a wider group, it has the potential to get substantially amplified. It doesn’t matter where the violence is directed, anger and hatred remain at the very core of it.

Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. It is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. It can be caused by any number of triggers – someone cutting our lane on the freeway, someone saying hurtful things to us, someone doing things that appear unjust and so forth. Often, the underlying factor bringing up anger is a sense of lack of control – a perceived threat to getting what we want. This desire for control maybe inborn or may grow through our childhood and other…

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Global challenges, Personal mastery | 3 Comments

Maslow’s Hierarchy Revisited…the Eastern Way!


Reading through some of the ancient Vedic texts, I was amazed to notice some uncanny similarities between Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs and the text’s description of the sequence of psychophysical energy centers in our body. Even though the two theories are drawn from very different perspectives, and during substantially different time periods, it was their curious similarities and differences as well as the resultant implications for personal growth that got me energized to write this piece.

You are probably quite familiar with Abraham Maslow’s work – a theory in psychology, written in a paper published in 1943, which set out five fundamental human needs and their hierarchical nature. Maslow studied what he called exemplary people such as Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt and Frederick Douglass, along with the healthiest one percent of his college student population, to postulate this theory. As you will notice from the pyramid below, the five needs are physiological needs, safety needs, belonging needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs. A key aspect of the model is the hierarchical nature of these needs. The lower the needs in the hierarchy, the more fundamental they are and the more a person will tend to abandon the higher needs in order to pay attention to sufficiently meeting the lower needs. For example, when we are ill, we care little for what others think about us – all we want is to get better. The first four layers of the pyramid are what Maslow called “deficiency needs”; if they are not met, the body gives no indication of it physically, but the individual feels anxious and tense. Maslow believed that while the deficiency needs may be seen as “basic”, and can be met and neutralized (i.e. they stop being motivators in one’s life), self-actualization is a “being” or “growth” need and hence can be an enduring motivation and a driver for long-term behavior.

Let’s now briefly examine the concept of the psychophysical energy centers in our body….

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Personal mastery, Self-growth, Spiritual | 5 Comments

The Olympics, Transcending Ourselves, and Personal Mastery


“The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well” – The Olympic Creed

The underlying emphasis in the above message seems to be based on a human being’s journey towards overcoming one’s own limitations and achieving personal peak performance – in a way, somehow transcending oneself. Watching the Olympics over the last few days has brought to fore the ability of certain individuals to do this with uncanny consistency. While Michael Phelps, Tiger Woods, and Roger Federer are great recent examples of this in sports, various individuals like Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, and Neil Armstrong have achieved this state at the very highest levels, in other fields as well.

In this post, I have attempted to capture what I believe are some of the most critical ingredients for achieving this level of peak performance in any type of profession or vocation we maybe engaged in.

Is it your calling?

For starters, is it a job or a career or your calling that you are pursuing? A detailed study of attitudes and general orientation towards work, done in 1997 by Dr. Amy Wrzesniewski, a professor of business at the New York University, showed workers broadly divided into three groups – those who saw their work as a job, those as a career, and those as their calling. The people in the first group are in employment because they really need the monthly paycheck and may be willing to move to another organization for higher salary. The second group is focused on building a career – for them it’s more about the position, growth, and the prestige. However, they may get disenchanted when the string of promotions stop. Finally, there is a small percentage of people engaged in what is their true calling…

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Posted by Rajiv Vij | Leadership, Personal mastery, Self-growth | 2 Comments

Attachment, Suffering, Ignorance and Personal Mastery


Enough and more has been written about attachment being the primary source of human suffering – attachment to money, fame, power, relationships and so on. Buddhism has strong grounding in it, Hinduism talks at length about it. Simultaneously, most spiritual scriptures also talk about the journey of self-awareness, leading to gaining knowledge about the ultimate truth about one self.

One of the things I have been lately wondering about is the sequencing of what comes first – detachment or self-knowledge? Does one lead to the other? Further, are the two related in some manner? What all does the context of detachment encompass – ambition, money, relationships?

My sense, based on coaching engagements with a wide diversity of individuals, coupled with my personal experiences, is that it’s the journey of self-awareness and gaining knowledge about the truth of our existence that is at the core of overcoming our daily frustrations, anxiety, regrets and suffering. As we embark on this journey, it allows us to get closer to our inner selves, the true selves. As we become aware of how our world is created by our perceptions, it moves us towards realizing that we are not our minds; even though we find it hard to not be controlled by our minds. As William Blake said, “If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite”. It initiates us into becoming an observer to our conditioned minds and witness the games the mind plays – how the mind stays focused (and anxious) of the imaginary future, or the regrets of the past, keeps us closed to several opportunities for love and sharing, loves to remind us what we don’t have rather than encourage us to feel grateful for what we have. This then leads to the question of who are we then? As we search for the answers and begin to appreciate the truth about our reality and the manifestation of that reality in multiple forms, including our current existence, we move significantly forward…

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