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“There was a man who was so disturbed by the sight of his own shadow and so displeased with his own footsteps that he determined to get rid of both. The method he hit upon was to run away from them, so he got up and ran, but every time he put his foot down, there was another step, and all this while his shadow kept up with him too without the slightest difficulty. He attributed his failure to the fact that he was not running fast enough. So he ran faster and faster, without stopping, until he finally dropped dead. He failed to realize that if he merely stepped into the shade, his shadow would vanish, and if he sat down and stayed still, there would be no more footsteps.”

This parable from the Chinese philosopher, Chuang Tzu, aptly captures the common reality of our lives. So many of our experiences, particularly during the impressionable years of childhood, are based on negative feedback on who we are – supposedly incompetent at many things and incapable of brilliance on numerous occasions and so on.

It’s not difficult to imagine then why we grow up feeling incomplete and constantly strive to become perfect – when we can finally convince ourselves, and others, of how good and wonderful we are. This insecurity and sense of incompleteness drives us to chase bigger goals. However, because of the lack of deeper fulfillment, each summit we climb appears only like the bottom of the next peak.

Further, since the reference for determining our greatness is always others, the reality that there’s always someone who’s stronger, richer, more beautiful or more knowledgeable than us is hard to swallow – “we are disturbed by the sight of our own shadow and weaknesses.” What do we do then, we try even harder – “but the shadow, the footsteps and our sense of lack won’t go away.”

Till we make the paradigm shift. Not by overcoming our weaknesses or negative emotions of self-doubt; or by escaping or ignoring them; but by realizing our true nature. It’s by developing a deeper understanding of who we are and how whole, complete and perfect we are – even if our conditioned mind would have us believe otherwise.

Once we make that transition, we begin to distance ourselves from our mind and slowly become a witness to the games our mind plays. The mind is a great servant but a terrible master. Gaining greater self-awareness and becoming an observer of our thoughts and feelings, we begin to see how all our negative emotions and the sense of lack is nothing but the perceptions created by our mind.

This shift is transformational. It allows us to leap frog from the world of duality (being judgmental, seeing everything as good or bad, favorable or otherwise) to one that is absolute; a realization of the only reality there is – that we are all made of the same universal life energy and are part of same perfect whole. We become open to the idea of peaceful coexistence of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in such a well-balanced whole.

This equips us to become aware of any negative thoughts that arise in our mind, acknowledge them and put them aside without delving on them or letting them grow. The acceptance of these thoughts and the accompanying stillness allows us to experience greater peace, and that in turn, empowers our true positives to get strengthened – “if he merely stepped into the shade, his shadow would vanish, and if he sat down and stayed still, there would be no more footsteps.”

(I had recently written this article for The Speaking Tree column of The Times of India)