Photo by h.koppdelaney

In my coaching practice, close to fifteen percent of my time is reserved for founders and leaders of the social-sector; and I get to work with some inspirational individuals. They are usually doing some incredible work and engaging with them is energizing. However, while each one of them is deeply passionate about their cause, this does not always translate into their higher personal happiness.

For example, Steve, a visionary leader of a voluntary organization I was working with, was deeply committed to making a substantial difference in the lives of the under-privileged. Having positively impacted over a thousand lives in his community, he was keen to expand his social program to the entire state and one day perhaps to the nation. Stretched by his ambition, he found himself considerably stressed and while in his early forties, he had become hypertensive.

Then there was Alok, leader of a global NGO that I worked with – not only was he very inspired by his social cause, but also had big ambitions around making a large impact in the society. While he loved his work, he routinely felt insecure within and was generally quite unhappy.

Purpose provides meaning, but is not enough for deeper happiness

While I notice that the happiness levels of people in the social-sector tend to be somewhat higher than their peers in the business world, their scores on the happiness test are not uniformly or unusually high. Although working in the social sector is uniquely challenging as the severity of resource-constraint in these organizations is invariably much greater than in the business enterprises, that is not the primary reason for their happiness levels to be sometimes lower than expected.

Trying to get to the bottom of this, I have come to recognize that while committing to a life of purpose provides meaning to our existence, which in turn aids our feeling happier and fulfilled, we still need to consciously do the personal work on acknowledging, responding and conquering our inner demons to be truly happy.

Unless we commit to that, our emotional triggers and limiting mental beliefs continue to haunt us, irrespective of our context – at work, in the commercial or the social sector, or in our personal life. Our insecurities, anger, envy, judgmental nature, restlessness, workaholism, perfectionism or procrastination do not get reformed merely by pursuing a worthy cause.

What Steve and Alok found out

As we worked together, Steve sharpened his focus on himself. He realized the significance of including an important step in his life around taking care of himself, even if only to dedicate his life to others. He recognized that unless he prioritized his own well-being, his dream of making a difference to the needy could indeed be short-lived. With that, he made the necessary changes for his health by committing to reform his food, exercise, and sleeping habits. He learnt to better love and accept himself, towards increased emotional fulfilment; and revived his meditation practice to deal with his restlessness and find greater inner peace.

Similarly, during our conversations, Alok discovered that his need for achievement and comparison was very high. He was obsessed not only about making a difference, but also about making a difference so much more than his peers that he could be widely recognized for his achievements. His need for external approval was weighing him down. He identified his low sense of self-worth as the real culprit for this ongoing feeling of insufficiency. He figured that his emphasis all along had been on pursuing his ambitions and on impressing others rather than becoming more self- aware and strengthening his inner self. He vowed to change that and committed to spending at least as much time for self-discovery and personal growth as for pursuing his goals about helping others – started to meditate, worked on building his self-esteem, gained inner strength, and began to develop authentic friendships.

The key takeaway

Irrespective of our personal circumstances or the platform of our professional pursuits, we need to commit to the path of self-work to experience deeper happiness and fulfilment. The following three elements are crucial to this journey:

Deepening self-awareness:

Unless we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, we are easily influenced by both, our own conditioned thinking and behavior patterns as well as whatever appears popular around us. This understanding encompasses reflecting, examining and becoming keenly aware of the different facets of our being.

It involves acknowledging our limiting beliefs (more is better, how others view us is important, success equates to happiness and so on), working with our emotional triggers (what makes us happy, angry, anxious or fearful and why, how we deal with setbacks and relate to others) and discovering our spiritual self (finding answers to who we really are, what we are doing on this planet and what the purpose of our life is).

Clarifying life’s purpose:

As I have written about this in other pieces, this is about clarifying a core personal purpose for our life and making that purpose the anchor of our existence. It’s about becoming very aware of that singular pursuit that we want the rest of our life to be about. It also demands building a better appreciation of the inter-linkages of this purpose with everything around us – from the immediate family to the broader community. People in the social-sector are generally strong at this.

Taking personal responsibility:

We then need to take charge of our life and commit to the changes that we personally require making – to grow, fulfil our purpose, and live a happier life. Recognizing that happiness is within us, we need to take personal responsibility of our life, including our thoughts, feelings and actions as well as our state of being and level of happiness – without blaming others or our circumstances. Most importantly, we can learn to appreciate that much of the change is within us and that when we change, irrespective of the environment and the people around us we start to experience a new and happier reality.

Clarity of purpose gives meaning to our life. This coupled with becoming more self-aware and committing to act on our awareness supports us in experiencing deeper happiness. Pursuing this pathway takes a lot of conscious and persistent effort, but then the journey and its outcomes are well worth it!