Category: Personal mastery

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‘The wound is the place where the Light enters you.’ ~ Sufi mystic, Rumi

Buddha professed, ‘Life is a suffering’ and at least at some stage in life, most of us do experience it that way. In some situations, particularly those related to a significant loss – of a loved one, a precious relationship, or a job – our suffering seems irreparable.

However, suffering and peace are two sides of the same coin and there’s merely a thin line separating the two. With greater awareness, understanding, and compassion, it is indeed possible to transform our agony into solace; our restlessness into stillness; and our adversity into a blessing. Suffering provides an exceptional gateway for deeper learning and growth to occur…towards discovering enduring happiness in our life.

In this post, I would like to share three key elements towards transforming our suffering into peacefulness. To better appreciate these, it maybe useful to first identify the central cause of our suffering.

The underlying cause

The single biggest cause of our suffering in life is our attachments. Whenever we feel any kind of emotional pain, we are invariably attached to something that makes the experience stressful. Pain is physical, but suffering is mental – it’s often not the event by itself, but our inner relationship with it that causes the suffering.

Disappointment with any setbacks at work is a result of our attachment to the expectations of specific gains from our efforts; the constant anxiety about our children’s future is an outcome of our attachment with an idealized version of ourselves that we wish our children to grow up into; fear of illness emanates from our attachment with our physical body.

We get attached to pleasurable experiences and worry about the risk of experiencing unpleasant ones; attached to material possessions, we spend inordinate emotional energy either craving for more or being fearful of losing any; our subconscious attempts to honor our attachment to our…

“Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the present moment.”
– Alan Watts, British-born philosopher

Hope you have had a great start to the New Year. Wish you and your loved ones a very Happy, Healthy and Meaningful year ahead!

This is that time of the year when we tend to reflect on the year gone by and make new personal resolutions for the year ahead. However, if there’s one idea I would love for you to consider this year, it would be to include a few minutes of daily meditation practice in your life.

Our modern lives are so stressful – driven by both, the innumerable opportunities and our insatiable ambition, we lead very fast-paced lives, juggling multiple balls. Unfortunately, despite the significant economic progress around us, as a society, we are not necessarily any happier. Notwithstanding individual successes, many of us experience incompleteness within.

Why meditate

If you can’t eliminate or even reduce stress in your life, maybe you should consider learning ways to better manage it. Meditation is a proven method to achieve exactly that. Besides helping you find greater calm, content and peace, meditation has numerous other benefits.

Significant quantum of research demonstrates that meditation practice can noticeably improve all aspects of an individual’s life – health, relationships, emotional well-being, work productivity and creativity. Independent studies at the National Institute of Health, and at Harvard, reported that regular meditation reduces chronic pain, anxiety, high blood pressure, cholesterol and cortisol, the stress hormone.

Meditation is also proven to increase serotonin production, which influences mood and behavior. Low levels of serotonin are normally associated with depression, obesity, insomnia and headaches. Meditation supports an individual’s growth of self-confidence, calmness, and tolerance. Peaceful thoughts, speech and actions, developed by meditating individuals, lead to greater harmony in their immediate relationships.

How to meditate

Many of my coaching clients are interested in exploring the idea of meditation, but either feel overwhelmed by the available choices…

The survival and evolution of human beings rests on their unparalleled ability to think. Descartes’ reflection, ‘I think, therefore I am’, has forever reinforced thought to be the very foundation of human existence. As humans increasingly rely on their minds, the prefrontal cortex, the thinking part of the brain, has actually grown in size and its capability.

Yet, this powerful gift does not automatically lead to gaining insights or acquiring wisdom – in fact, usually, it comes in the way. It is not the ability to think, but to consciously stop thinking, that’s most valuable. That alone paves the way for self-realization and singularly makes the human form precious.

Limitations of our thoughts

Our thinking capability is severely limited. Our thoughts are a result of our conditioned beliefs and are thus significantly restricted by our personality orientation, environment and experiences. As author Anais Nin noted, ‘We don’t see things as they are, but as we are’.

Goaded by our success with thinking through life’s mundane problems, we misconstrue that to be the most effective process of arriving at solutions. Consequently, we tend to over-think things – overlooking the fact that this approach employs merely a fraction of our mental capacity.

Besides, living in the head keeps us away from listening to our heart and engaging deeply in our relationships; the emotional noise created by our incessant mental chatter restricts us from performing at our peak potential.

The power of the subconscious

Far more powerful than our active mind is our subconscious mind. A deep reservoir of knowledge, spanning many lifetimes, it is a powerful gateway to the collective wisdom of the universe. Creating conscious moments of empty spaces between thoughts allows us to switch off from our active mind and access the subconscious. That’s what leads to new insights, peak performance and spiritual growth.

Creative people vouch for getting their most inspirational ideas in those moments. Mozart and Michelangelo have described it such. Scientists are…

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“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

Have you ever experienced the aching emotions of feeling wronged by life? When you feel you have to suffer for unjustifiable reasons? When others around you seem to be living a perfectly normal life? And you wonder ‘why is this happening to me alone?’

We invariably experience setbacks that make us question the fairness of life – from being overlooked for a promotion to losing a job, from a persistent discord in a close relationship to a separation or divorce, from a chronic illness to losing a loved one.

With any kind of recurring disappointment in life, the agonizing feeling of being singled out in having to deal with that haunts us continually. Besides, these situations bring out our inner demons – we wonder if we are good (or lovable or balanced) enough, we accuse ourselves, and we accumulate regrets, anger and frustration. From self-doubt to self-blame and self-pity, we are overcome by crippling thoughts.

Four keys to overcoming feeling like a victim

1. Developing gratitude

Arthur Ashe, the legendary tennis player, was dying of AIDS that he contracted from the infected blood he had received during a heart surgery. When one of his fans questioned him on why God had to select him for such a nasty disease, he responded that of the millions of children who start playing tennis, only a few fortunate ones get to Wimbledon and that when he was holding the champion’s trophy, he never asked God ‘Why me?’ While we are quick to blame our circumstances whenever we are in pain – physical or emotional – we take many of our blessings for granted.

Making a long list of reasons you are grateful for in life would, in most cases, help you appreciate how fortunate you are. Reminding yourself of the key points in the list on a daily basis can help temper…

Driven by a desire to seek greater meaning, I left the corporate world seven years ago to start a new life. The two significant goals of this life shift were to start the journey of working on my own inner self and to support others in theirs. Although I face new challenges every day, it has been a liberating and rewarding experience.

The last seven years have been rather instructive for me. I have learnt more life lessons during this time than the preceding four decades of my life. Not that I was presented with particularly unique circumstances, but perhaps I was more mindful of learning from them this time around.

As I became a more conscious observer of my own thoughts and actions, I noticed that merely changing my life situation did not automatically alter my long-held beliefs and behavior patterns. If I am an intense person, it didn’t matter whether I was focused on my career in the past or my efforts with meditation or self-improvement now – I always run the risk of being obsessed with my goals.

Seven lessons

Through my ongoing efforts at developing greater self-awareness and from my experiences of working with individuals from diverse backgrounds, I have been learning a number of lessons. Here are the seven themes that stand out.

1. Reflection lays the foundation for positive change

For us to experience any positive change, we need to actively create moments of reflection in our regular life. Ordinarily, in our fast-paced society, it is natural to get consumed in our daily pursuits and lose sight of our bigger life-goals.

Creating regular moments of reflection allows us to become more self-aware, understand our emotional triggers and examine our inner beliefs and motivations. This in turn lays the foundation for positive behavior changes to happen. With persistence, we discover our deeper purpose in life that not only releases energy that gets tied up…

Our spiritual identity is defined by our soul. Not only has this been vividly described by wide-ranging ancient scriptures, but individual experiences of near-death events and of alternate healing techniques like past-life and spiritual regression also reinforce the existence of our spiritual being as a soul.

Our soul is the formless life force, the consciousness, that brings alive our human form. It is also our true essence, our eternal self. As French philosopher Teilhard de Chardin said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” 

While many of us connect with this realism, rarely do we reflect enough on how souls possibly operate. Every individual soul is bound by its eternal journey to be one with the Supreme soul, the Source of the universal consciousness. However, interestingly, it is only in the physical form of a human body that the soul can progress on that journey.

Stating simplistically, at the time of death, the individual soul leaves the human body and reconnects with the Source. While this provides the soul a comforting homecoming and some sense of being whole again, the soul still carries the karmic imprint of its cumulative existence across various lives. The soul’s recognition of its karmic imperfections and its motivation to continue to purify itself, in line with its eternal goal, leads to its need for rebirth.

Among other possibilities, the soul eventually takes birth in a new body on earth. It is important to emphasize here that every such birth has a special significance and purpose for the soul – the specific aspects of its karmic imprint that it wishes to neutralize and thereby progress in its eternal journey towards merging with the Source.

However, the human life throws up interesting challenges to the soul. The strength of the human brain, coupled with the powerful To continue reading, please click here »

It might have been my upbringing that had sown the seeds of looking down on greed. Growing up in an Indian middle class environment, my childhood lessons were strewn with preaching on hard work, integrity, character and simple living. There was an active bias for quality education and a passive one against engaging in moneymaking activities. It was believed that the latter was connected with greed and that it eventually leads to discontentment.

Focused on curtailing ‘greed’

No wonder then, as I consciously decided, a few years ago, to embark on a journey of personal and spiritual growth, the idea of moderating my greed must have come naturally to me. I subconsciously switched from living with multiple and sometimes never ending ‘wants’ to being more centered around fulfilling important ‘needs’. The idea of constantly upgrading to a bigger house or a bigger car, that I was beginning to get accustomed to, didn’t seem to motivate me any more.

I left a lucrative corporate career, chose to pursue a simpler life and to find greater meaning and make a difference to others started a practice of life coaching. In the process, I turned somewhat idealistic in many of my thoughts and actions and it showed up in small but multiple ways – I moderated my ambitions, cut down on my travels, committed to daily meditation and gave up meat and alcohol.

With disciplined practice of meditation, I became calmer, less competitive, discovered new inner strength and found greater peace. I felt less attached to ambition and success and more grounded in a purposeful journey. I was happier.

Then I discovered ‘aversion’

While life looked great for the most part, I found myself occasionally experiencing sharp anxiety over things that seemed relatively insignificant to others around me. I related to these moments as personal setbacks in my otherwise happy journey of spiritual growth. Of course, being that…

“Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body.” – Cicero, the Roman philosopher

While many of us regularly spend some time taking care of our health, these efforts are usually focused only on our physical well-being. We rarely focus enough on our emotional and mental health and most importantly on our spiritual well-being. Nourishing our soul is arguably the most important agenda we ought to be attending to in human life.

Spiritual well-being

Spiritual well-being is related to our level of self-awareness, clarity about the purpose of our life and a connection with something larger than ourselves. It is about knowing who we are, what our place in this universe is, and the extent of our interconnectedness with the universe. Soul is the part of us that is eternal and connects us with everything else; spiritual growth is fodder for the soul.

Spiritual development dictates gaining clarity on the purpose of our life; and committing to that purpose provides strength to our soul in its own everlasting journey. As the soul gets nourished, its energy reverberates in our physical, mental and emotional state as well. On the one hand, it fills us with peace and calm; on the other, it inspires our mind and body towards meaningful action

An expanded level of self-awareness includes building awareness of the true self – the Self that never dies and is never born, but just takes on different forms. Consciousness of our core being helps dilute our habitual attachment with our ego and guides us towards the principles of letting go, being present in the moment, and maintaining equanimity under all circumstances. Progress in this area gives greater meaning to our life and helps us to be happier, compassionate and feel fulfilled.

It is the key to our human experience…